iMatter

These past few weeks have been the most stressful weeks of my life. I've never been so pressured, harassed, threatened, frightened, nervous, proud, and ecstatic in my whole entire life. I sit here, and realize it's extremely difficult typing with a bandaged index finger, but I'll tell my story anyway:

iMatter:

My purpose-
I was disturbed by these budget cuts and felt a need to speak out about them. I have had an amazing experience in high school and I felt it extremely unfair for students younger than I to not be able to experience the same things I experienced just because they were born later than I. It's not fair for a student to not be able to get into college just because his/her counselor was too busy taking care of the other 2499 students on campus. I didn't want students to have no where to go when they had major problems. I couldn't imagine a student not having a Senior Ball just because there was no activities director to run the ASB class which puts on dances and many other things. I couldn't imagine a student going through high school without clubs or rallies. I couldn't imagine an injured student being told to "suck it up" just because there isn't a health clerk to take care of them. Where do our students turn to? What is going on here? Are we not the future? Does our education not matter? Do we not matter? Just because we're students doesn't mean we can't speak up for something we believe in. I felt like we, the students, weren't being heard. I felt no one cared about what the students wanted, what they needed, and what they were willing to say.
I'm a big believer in empowerment. I've been to leadership camps and I know a little about being a leader myself. I believe that students have so much power and so much ability to do anything they believe in. I knew that many wouldn't discover this power unless someone told them they possessed it. Yes, of course I wanted to turn the budget cuts around. I wanted all those being cut to come back. But I also knew that this was very very difficult. It is my ultimate goal. My personal goal was to touch someone's heart, change his/her life in any way, shape or form, and show students that they can speak out for what they believe in. This has been the goal of ASB since the beginning of time. I wanted to fulfill this goal, not because I was in ASB, but because I wanted that to be my life's goal. Yea, it may sound cheesy, but I truly believe that a simple smile or a tender touch could change someone's life ultimately. I hoped that what I did with the iMatter protest allowed me to fulfill my life's goal.

The Plan-
I wanted a 15 minute walk-out/chalk event throughout the whole entire district. But I soon realized that I, myself, cannot do this. I realized that I was working a one man team and I wouldn't be able to do this. So, I settled for less. I planned to organize a walk-out at Santa Teresa High School. The walk out would be at 9:30am. Students would assemble in one main area. I would then give a speech, hand them chalk, and allow them to voice their concerns threw chalk. After this, students would return to class. At 4:00pm, there would be an event at the District Office where students from all over the district can come, take chalk, and write their names and the things that matter to them on the district office grounds.

The Drama-
On April 28, 2010, Mr. Duran (STHS Principal) came and talked to me during 5th period. He asked me to attend the Cortese Bus Trip that would drive up to Sacramento. I would have to miss a whole day of school for this and it's purpose was to oppose the budget cuts. I happily agreed to go. During 6th period, Mr. Duran went on the intercom and announced to the entire school that he had just learned of the walk-out. He explained that the walk-out was not supported by the administration. He also advised students not to walk out. He then came to me during 7th period, pulled me out of class, told me he would have to suspend me if I go through with the walk-out, and told me I had until the end of the day to pull down all my protest fliers. I didn't pull down any fliers, but he personally did.
On April 29th, 2010, Duran meets with myself, and three other teachers during 4th period. He essentially tells me that I cannot do the walk out or I will be suspended and will not be able to walk the stage at graduation. He essentially tells me, I either call it off or do what he calls a "compromise" which was to allow students to chalk the school at break. During the meeting, I was extremely uncomfortable and nervous. Duran intimidates me and I felt I had to comply. I'm not a rebel, I'm not defiant, and I don't really ever break rules. Being threatened with suspension and not walking scares the living beeps out of me. I agreed to his plan and he told me that I would have to get on the intercom and announce to the whole school that the walk-out was being called off and that I can no longer support it. I was given until 6th period to do so.
I pondered and pondered the whole day. What do I do? I honestly didn't want to do his "compromise". It's not something I believe is right. It makes no impact. It doesn't follow anything I believe in and I don't have any of my heart in it. So do I risk facing the consequences for something I truly have a passion for and truly believe in? It seems like an easy question, but I can tell you, that was probably the most difficult decision I had ever made in my life at this point. Bottom line, I never made the announcement. I chose to take the consequences. I chose to follow what I believe is right. I chose to not obey.

**** Hits the Fan-
I'm crying. I feel so helpless. I feel so horrible. I feel like I've just dug my own grave. I don't like breaking rules. I don't like going against an elder. I don't like feeling like an ant about to be crushed by a big fat shoe. But, I did it. It's what I believe in. Sometimes, to fulfill your goal of doing what's right and doing what you believe in requires some rules to be broken.
I head over to a teacher's room so that he may speak to my mother and explain to her the support I have and how this is viewed through a teacher's eyes. My mother doesn't speak English very well. Earlier, Duran called her and told her something...something. She called me and said, "Some man from school called and said something." Obviously she couldn't understand him. Obviously she didn't know what he was talking about. So I'm in this teacher's room and he's talking to my mom on the phone in Vietnamese. Then I hear her panic a little bit because someone's at the door. Through the phone, we hear her let them in. It is Mr. Duran. He is at my house. My teacher texted me and said "Duran kidnapped me and we're going to your house. Get home now." I get into the car with the teacher who was talking to my mom on the phone along with another teacher. We head to my house. When we get there, Duran and the teacher he took along with him was gone. We go inside and my mother is anxious and wants to know what in the world is going on. The teacher explains it to her and she becomes calm.
I'm furious. You do NOT ever step into my house and tell my mom to stop me from doing something because I may not graduate or may get suspended. You do NOT ever involve a sickly woman in anything that may scare her. She has diabetes, high cholesterol, and high blood pressure, not to mention she is still in the process of grieving her husband's death. In my eyes, Duran completely stepped over the line. He completely crossed the boundary and did something entirely inappropriate. I honestly respected him a lot, but the second he stepped one foot into my home, **** hit the fan. I lost all my respect for him. I am now more confident and more willing to take on the consequences.

Game Day-
It's April 30th. I've been planning for this day for about 2 months. I've gone through an enormous amount of stress, tons of public speeches, shaking stranger's hands, giving my contact info, etc. So much has happened and it has all come down to this day. This walk-out was my main concern. I had so much opposition and had to prepare myself for the worst-detainment. I was afraid they would pull me out of 1st period and detain me so that I would not be able to perform the walk-out. Tim, Chad, Anthony, and myself hid out by Lupe's. Our plan was to hide out and come onto campus at 9:27 so that admin. would not have enough time to stop us and detain me. We did so and hid in Mr. P.A.'s room. At 9:30 I saw students walking out. I was shaking, nervous, scared. We walked out and saw a huge crowd. I got onto the table and did my thing. I was amazed at the turn-out. It was AMAZING. I have never felt so lifted in my life. Apparently the crowd stretched all the way to the clock tower. It was incredible. The students were extremely mature, wrote very meaningful messages, and returned to class as asked. I interviewed with KGO and then went back to class. I was so proud of ST students. I have never been so proud to say that I go to Santa Teresa High School.
At one point during the walk-out event, I see Mr. Duran approach me. I quickly tell my body guards that he's coming. I don't want to be take down. I want to finish this. I'm scared he will ask me to get down, take me into his office, and suspend me. Duran calls me name. I look at him and acknowledge him. He looks at me for a good 5 seconds, then hands me a stick of chalk. "Here you go," he says. I thank him. I knew. He had forfeited. He gave in. He took some wrong steps, made some bad choices, did his job, but failed. I pity him for this. It must be extremely difficult for someone of that large of a stature, of that much power in a school to bow down and wave his white flag to a student. I applaud him for this.
Apparently, before the walk-out happened, a couple teachers voiced their concern on the matter. They felt that students have always been taught to speak out when they feel something is not right, that they need to voice up and be heard, yet when they do, they are punished for it. The media was also notified of Duran's encounter and how my punishments were being handled. I guess he felt he had to finally give in. He tells teachers that no one will be suspended and no one will have any consequences. After the walk-out, he tells me since everything went smoothly, I won't be in trouble. He calls my mom and in 20 seconds, tells her everything went well. She apparently told me she didn't even know who it was. He then asks me, "So, are we okay?" I look at him for a couple seconds, smile, and tell him, "Mr. Duran, of course we are." This was redemption. I had won.
I'm getting calls from all over the place. My phone does not stop ringing. News stations, radio stations, newspapers, students from ST, students from other campuses, teachers from other campuses, and so many others. I was amazed. But I had to realize that it wasn't over yet. The main even was yet to come.
4:00 at the District Office. People are there. Some trickling in. We start this thing. It is INCREDIBLE. Students from all different campuses taking chalk and writing things like: "BUJIT CUTZ RUEND MY EDUCAMTION", "WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?", "WTF?-WHERES THE FUNDING?", "WE NEED THESE PEOPLE", "I AM A HUMAN BEING, THAT SHOULD BE ENOUGH","CALIFORNIA IS FAILING US","IF I DON'T MATTER, WHO DOES?","HOW DARE YOU", etc. It was amazing. Students were extremely creative with chalk. I was awestruck. I interviewed with channel 2 news, SJ Mercury, and some Vietnamese newspapers. I took pictures with some students, shook some hands, hugged some bodies, and smiled all day long. We had a camera set up to film a face shot of students saying "Hi, my name is ____ and I matter because ___." Everybody loved this. we had individual shots, group shots, teachers, students, and parents. I was so proud of all these kids.

After it All-
I am so tired. After the District protest is done, I come home and take a nice, long, hot shower. I eat (realizing I had starved myself all day), sit with my mommy, and talk about this experience. We then wait until 10 o'clock and turn on channel 2 to watch. I record it for my sister in LA. I then turn on my laptop to 5839109824032804938209750293 notifications on facebook and an extreme amount of emails from teachers at Santa Teresa. I'm amazed. My personal goal was to affect at least one student. Apparently I did. I'm so happy and I'm so proud. My mom tells me protesting for the greater good, standing up for what's right, fighting for the underdog, and empowering people is in my blood. Apparently my father was an activist as well. He was president of his university back in Vietnam. He led some protests and always spoke up for what he thought was right. He was a big believer in fighting for those with fewer rights. She also asked me why I chose April 30th. I explained to her about the district hearings. She tells me its a coincidence because April 30th is the day the Vietnamese people protest the unfair treatment of communism. She tells me maybe my dad had something to do with this (she believes in the spirit after it passes). I laugh. I relax with my mom and bit and decide to write this. It's extremely long, but it tells everything about what happened and how I felt about it. I'm deciding now that I will write a list of the things I learned from this protest. This iMatter blog has not ended just yet. Stay tuned. She Speaks.