What I Want

In speaking with my Little Misses today, the topic of what we want in a guy comes up. My girls seemed to be the type that just went with the flow. They were the ones who took whatever came and worked with it. I, on the other hand, belonged to the other extreme. I had a set list of certain characteristics I wanted in a guy.

Now, this doesn't mean I won't date a guy who doesn't possess these features. It simply means: one up yourself for each of the characteristics you possess from the list. And this doesn't mean a guy who possesses all these characteristics is going to be my groom-to-be, it just means, you're in the running to being a very compatible mate.

Keep in mind, this list is very different from what women want. This is what I, myself, want. I'm not generalizing. I'm specifying. And this list is in no particular order whatsoever.

1. Family Oriented
I know it sounds cliche, but a family oriented guy has just brought itself to my mind. It never really struck me as an important feature in a man. After "the incident", I've come to appreciate family so much more. I knew I wanted a guy who was close to his family and appreciated them in some sense. This was probably one of my reasons for ending my 3.5 year relationship. He was just not into his family and that bothered me...a lot.

2. Woo Me
We all know girls like to be treated like royalty. We love it when our men tell us we look beautiful today, when they spontaneously kiss us in public, when they shower us with gifts, sing to us in the bedroom and out in the streets, etc. But I'm not a material girl and I do not want a guy to bedazzle my hands and neck. My type of wooing: Simplicity, Spontaneity, and Sensuality. Keep it simple and a little cheesy. Keep it spontaneous and catch her off her toes. Keep it sensual-not sexual-and show her that she means something to you.

In the past, I've lacked the flattery aspect of a relationship. I found myself wooing my man instead of the other way around. I found myself showering him with gifts, kissing him, singing to him, mailing cards to him, opening the door for him, and doing everything possible to make him feel special. And I got nothing in return. I felt nothing-special, flattered, beautiful, important, loved-none of that.

3. Care
It sounds simple enough but it's honestly hard for some men to show women that they care. If you love her, you should care for her. If you care for her, show her that you do: make sure she gets home safely, call and check how she's doing, bring her food when she's sick, rub her back when she's menstruating, hold her when she's crying, etc.

4. Arms
Everyone knows I'm a big arms type of girl. I have an obsession with arms-but it's not like that. I don't expect my men to have bulging arms like my brother. I like a guy who has enough muscle around his arms so that I can squeeze and kiss. I need to know that he can catch me if I happen to be falling off a 30 story building...duh.

5. Brains
You don't need to be Einstein, I just need to be able to have an intellectual conversation with you without you stopping me and asking me the definition of the word I previously spoke.

6. Communication
I am all about communication. If I'm going to date a guy, he needs to be able to tell me things on his mind and be able to understand and respect the things I tell him that are on my mind. Communication is a key factor in a successful relationship.

7. Physical Attraction
Obviously, if I'm not attracted to you, there's absolutely no chance. None.

8. Do-er
I don't want to date a guy whom I have to nag at 10 times to get something done. A guy needs to be able to identify that there is a need to do something, understand that he should be the one to do it, and then...do it. Nothing happens unless you do something. And a relationship will definitely not happen if you're the type of guy who sits on his bum all day long playing computer or video games with your friends.

9. Independence
I hate people who rely on others. Period.

10. Respect
" for my passion
" for my work
" for my body
" for my family
" for my friends
" for my desires
" for my decisions
" for my very own self

~!@#$%^&*()
I'm sure there are so many more things I could list, but these are ten general features I would appreciate in a guy. Maybe I'll add on some more in the future, but it is currently 5:00am and I am dead tired. It's time to rest so I can start a wonderful Tuesday in a couple hours. Goodnight, dear world of mine.

She Speaks.