The thing one has to always understand about CASC is that each and every camp provides you with a different yet still rewarding experience. At CASC, you're constantly learning, improving, and having fun.
Although I have been to SDP before, this time was different. This time was a lot less chaotic and I felt as if I learned a lot more, not from reading and presenting curriculum, but by teaching others. Because I was a returner this time, a lot of the new counselors looked up to me and came to me with a lot of questions. It was amazing how many times I found my name being called or questions being directed to me. It felt really awesome being needed. (ISFJ-Gurdians...wow... MB tests).
Gamma Jordan gave me my feedback and I was astonished when she told me I had not deltas whatsoever. I'm not sure if this is a CASC first, but I have never heard of anyone not having any deltas. She also said I was definitely ready to become a CIT. WHAT????... a CIT??? You're so kidding me. I was so honored when she said this. Usually, CIT's have been counselors multiple times and have demonstrated a clear and extensive knowledge of the curriculum. I have only counseled once and I have already gained enough knowledge to be a CIT? Wow... I was blown away.
As always, there was genuine bond created among the people in my gamma group. The main thing that I felt brought me to a newer light with the group was definitely and obviously "Life Raft". This time, I knew what to do and I used that to my advantage. I used my excellent speaking skills to manipulate the members of my group and I pressured them into voting me out. In the end, I got my way and I sacrificed myself.
When explaining my reasons, I told them how I had led a great life and how I had witnessed things that people twice my age have yet to witness. Because I have been given the opportunity to go through these life challenges, I have learned and grown as a person. I told the group that I wanted them to go through similar experiences and grow as well. Therefore, it would be a logical decision to allow me to die.
I won. They allowed me to. During the closure, one person explained how she was extremely uncomfortable with this decision because she felt that her whole life, her father has always sacrificed himself for the family and she was getting tired of other people sacrificing themselves for her and felt as though this were a chance for her to repay him and personally sacrifice herself. I explained to her the following:
After my dad had passed away, I went through a period of time where I was depressed and felt extremely regretful. I felt as though his sudden death pierced me and injured me permanently. I was filled with regret because I had not previously recognized all that he had done for me and now that he had passed, I would not be able to ever repay him for the things he had done. I then went through a period where I did not know what to do with my life.
After attending a CASL conference and participating in Brodie Kaster's workshop about opportunities, I realized that I had not seized the opportunity when my dad was alive. I was yet again, filled with regret, only this time, I vowed to do something about it. I realized that in order to get passed this, I had to recognize and accept that fact that I will never ever be able to repay my dad, or any one else in my life, for the things they have done for me. There is no possible way to match up or even surpass what they did. I then realized that the only thing I can possibly do is pay it forward to those I encounter later on in life.
In order to achieve this, I had to seize every opportunity I was given in order to implement a change. I have lived my life by this since February of 2010 and I will vow to continue to live this way. I will also vow to spread this piece of knowledge that I have personally obtained and pay the message forward.
This is my way of thanking my dad and all those who have taught me valuable lessons in life. Happy Father's Day Dad. And thank you, for everything.
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