I Think I'm Going to Vomit

Have I ever expressed how much I really really really despise mushy gushy touchy feely ooey gooey floofy moofy rumpy fumpy lovey dovey kissey kissey couples?

No? Oh.

Well, I really really really despise mushy gushy touchy feely ooey gooey floofy moofy rumpy fumpy lovey dovey kissey kissey couples.

Hi, you mind giving your significant other a little time to breathe between his/her words whilst in conversation with you?

Hello, you mind not having to have physical contact with each other for at least 3 seconds?

Greetings, you mind not publicly professing your love to each other... via Facebook?

Salutations, you mind not counting down the number of days/hours/minutes/seconds until you see each other?

Hey there, you mind GETTING A LIFE?... OR PERHAPS A ROOM? Actually, save us the trouble of finding a loo in order to regurgitate our meal by finding a different galaxy to live your relationship in.

Thanks, hun.
I'm done. Aye yo breezy.