It can't be like this.
He can't fall off the face of the earth for a whole entire day then message me telling me he won't be available for a while. I text, I call, I leave messages, and nothing. No response, no clue, no communication.
Things can't be like this. It's understandable if he isn't comfortable telling me some things but it's not right for him to leave me completely in the dark and not respond to me at all. He needs to give me something right? At least tell me what issue he's dealing with. I'm not asking him to give me juicy details, I just want to know that he's alright or that he will be alright. I'm just asking for something more than a two sentence message that he won't be available. It's not fair. It's not right. It's not healthy.
I will spend the entire day guarding my phone-wondering what's going on, worrying about him, hoping he's okay. And this isn't the first time.
The last time this happened, I was in San Diego waiting for him to pick me up for a dinner date. He didn't come 3 hours after the scheduled time. He didn't come at all. He didn't contact me until 4 hours after. He didn't tell me what happened, just that he had some issues.
Being the worry wart that I was, I didn't want to not be there for him so after I had to fly back to San Jose, I booked another flight back to San Diego a couple weeks later just so I could make sure everything was okay for him. I made up an excuse that my friend needed company driving to a conference we were both going to in Santa Barbara so I would stay in San Diego, be with Daichi, then drive with my friend to Santa Barbara. This extensive trip was made because he didn't tell me what was going on and therefore I started to worry and assume the worst. Had he told me something at least, I would not have had to make that second trip to San Diego.
I know there may be something imperative going on that involves personal issues but I'm not just somebody to be removed at any moment in time. I'm in a committed relationship with him and that means he needs to communicate with me. I know it may seem as though his communication skills aren't top notch but the fact is, he has no communication skills. He doesn't communicate. Period.
It's unhealthy. For him, me, and the relationship. I cannot be in a relationship in which my significant other can randomly decided when he want's to talk to me and when he want's to completely disappear for days on end without notice.
This puts such a strain on me-having to wonder when he'll finally talk to me. This puts such a strain on our relationship. I can't trust him to be consistent in our relationship. I can't trust him to communicate with me. I can't trust him to let me in to his life.
I feel as if he's not comfortable talking to me or telling me intimate things. I feel as if he doesn't trust me with it. But it's not fair. I've made an effort to open up to him about everything in my life-even before the courting started. I've let him know about things in my life that nobody knows or has ever had insight to. It's not fair that I've left myself vulnerable and told him everything when he can just so easily hide things from me.
It's causing an imbalance in our relationship. Tension, mistrust, and strain is gnawing at us. He can't be doing this. He can't be doing this to us.
I wish I could address this issue to him, but currently, he's M.I.A.
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