Made with Stress

This situation is stressing me out a lot. When I stress, I do silent activities in an attempt to clear out my mind and relax a little. The situation started to stress me yesterday afternoon and escalated when I got his message. The fact that he still isn't responding is making my stress escalate. I decided to bake.

A little more than a month ago, I decided to make some of my cookies up in Santa Cruz. He said he liked white chocolate chips in cookies more than semi-sweet chips. I agreed and decided to make my chocolate chip recipe with white chips instead. I wanted to make them for him.

Today, I set out to make my white chocolate chip cookie dough so that I may bake them for him in the future. Due to the large amount of stress building up inside me, I made 3 batches instead of 1. I made only the cookie dough and didn't bake it because I didn't want to eat them... I just wanted to make the dough in silence. I wanted to be able to make them for him in the future whenever he wanted cookies.

Three batches is a lot. I didn't realize how much it was until I tried to fit it all inside a large container and realized it would not fit unless I had at least two of those containers. With the three batches I made, I would probably be able to bake around 140 cookies.

Today I was stressed. I decided to make the cookies I used to bake him. My stress was a little overwhelming. So I made an overwhelming amount of cookie dough.

They probably don't taste as good as my other batches. Those were made with love. The ones today were made with stress.